Moment of the Day:

My mother walks into my room and sees that my laptop is on my lap.

Mom: "Nooooooo! You can't put your computer on your lap!"

Sam: "Whatever, Mom, I usually have it on my desk, but I just wanna lean back on my rocking chair so I can't with it on the d---"

Mom: "IT'LL MAKE YOU INFERTILE!"

Just gotta say: most politicians are corrupt, but if you attract enough attention with your misdeeds to warrant getting arrested.....DAMN son!

also, i think Oprah can be as fat as she goddamn wants and I don't give a shit. 200 pounds? Whatever. A ton? Good for her. She's still a rainbow of wonderfulness

Sam's Suitcase's Holy Land Tour

So, as I probably mentioned at some point, I lost my suitcase in Israel the first time I went there. (December 2007).


And to this day, a full year later, I find myself wondering during quiet moments, "Where the hell IS my suitcase?" This really does interest me. Was it blown up almost immediately? Was it placed on a different tour bus and then discovered and THEN blown up? Is it in some storage room somewhere in Israel?

Is my suitcase somehow still touring the country, carrying on my work?

This is what occupies the empty space in my brain when I'm alone in my room, or at a movie, or in class. I get bored and I start imagining possible things that happened to my suitcase.

When I return to Israel, I intend to make finding out my suitcase's fate my mission. I mean, apart from the fact that I had a few sweaters in there that I really liked that I'd like to get back, my main interest here is just curiosity-driven.

Crap. Am now leaning towards doing Ulpan Etzion in Jerusalem since that way I have fewer things to worry about, and also because it seems like I'll have an easier time getting my parents on board with that since it's a more academic-focused thing....and just a more focused thing in general in comparison to "I'm gonna go to haifa and eventually find housing and work, and maybe do some hebrew classes...."

Also, I think part of me just needs to accept a bit of help. For example, I didn't do a nefesh b'nefesh flight cos I wanted to be independent. That's no big deal, but when it comes to long-term living arrangements I need to be willing to go the easy route.


ALSO: I keep having nightmares about my arrival in Israel. I keep having dreams that I got into a taxi at the airport and ended up at my chosen destination in the country (some dreams it's been Haifa, others it's Jerusalem)....and then I realize that I forgot to go through the process at the airport for olim. So then I realize that I'm not an olah, and that I'm totally fucked. And then I wake up. Seriously, I've had this dream four times now.

I just got stir-fry downstairs.....I'm so glad that that was probably the last time I'm getting stir-fry at my dorm's cafeteria. It's really tasty, but I swear that the smell gets into my clothing. Like, I go downstairs and my clothing smells like laundry detergent, or at worse like my signature smell (whatever that is....everyone has a signature smell. Signature BO), and then on the way back up the stairs after eating stir fry my shirt smells like onions and teriyaki sauce. I seriously don't understand. I understand that my breath would smell weird, or that maybe my hands might a little bit. But my shirt? I don't get it. I didn't spill on my shirt, but somehow my shirt always ends up smelling like someone stir-fried it.

Anyway, aliyah related update: I did end up getting into the ulpan/apartment combo in Jerusalem. I'm thinking of continuing with my plans to go up north though. I liked the north because, unlike in Jerusalem, I didn't feel like I was surrounded by American pilgrims. I actually heard Hebrew up there, and people were a lot nicer about letting me get a chance to try out my Hebrew. Of course, this complicates things because up north I don't have any set plans--my plan is to go to a hostel and stay there until I find a cheap apartment. And then hopefully work and ulpan will fall in line. Based on my internet research that shouldn't be too difficult, but we'll see what real life brings.....

A happy development.

Hadn't spoken to my mom in three days, and my dad in almost a week--this is pretty weird for me, since normally I hear from my parents every other day. Where we last left off, my parents were furious. Absolutely pissed with me.

Tonight I called my mom back after she called me while I was with a friend--and now she's all totally happy with me. When she originally called me, she sounded angry with me. But I called back and suddenly she was happy..... WEIRD

We were talking about me withdrawing from university, this time as a fact rather than as an abstract thing that she is trying to prevent from happening. They even cracked a joke about my leaving--I said that the lady at the university office told me that there was absolutely no problem with my withdrawing. And then my dad lets out a hearty, Santa-like chuckle and says, "Heh, well at least you've got HER permission!"

I'm thinking they're trying to be extra nice to me to prevent me from leaving. I think they realized that their being angry only makes it easier for me to leave, because I don't want to be around people who "hate" me. Or maybe they're realizing that if I leave university for Israel, they can retire MUCH earlier. For whatever reason they're being nice suddenly, I'm glad. I feel a lot less stressed--now the only thing I'm stressing over is whether or not experiencing their niceness at home or a month is gonna convince me to stay!

I'm also afraid that maybe this is some ploy to get me to let my guard down. Aw fuck it, why be paranoid

You know what really pisses me off about Harry Potter? I mean, I love the books and everything, but what the hell is wrong with Harry? Seriously, if I knew some dark wizard was out to get me, I'd put a little bit more effort into my magical education. But no, he totally slacks off and relies on his nerdy little lady friend to know the hell he should do. Like seriously, Harry Potter, learn to do a fucking potion once in a while, or read a fucking book every now and then.