Last night my brother gave us all gifts. First he gave us the gifts he saved from his trip to Germany over the summer. He got me a very cute little messenger-style bag, and I was very pleased.
Then he whipped out our presents that he got us from Israel, which he bought on Friday. Mind you, this was a day before the operation started. What was the gift I received? A poster of soldiers in front of the Western Wall, with the words to the prayer for the IDF. ....how appropriate
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Nazi is a mythical creature
So I just read in the news that some Iranian politician likened Israel to the Nazis. Which immediately made me stop and ask myself, "Wait, aren't Iranian politicians Holocaust deniers?"
If there was no Holocaust, then basically what this guy was doing was actually comparing Israel to a mythical creature. Nazis don't exist, they're like leprechauns or unicorns or Rumplestiltskin. So when some guy from Iran calls my country a bunch of Nazis, I get a little confused. Wait, do you mean that we're a bunch of little green men with pots of gold, that we're beautiful horses with magical powers, or that we're little men with strange names? Ah! Must be the last one. Most Avi's aren't very tall.
Jeez, man from Iran, tell me something I DON'T know!
If there was no Holocaust, then basically what this guy was doing was actually comparing Israel to a mythical creature. Nazis don't exist, they're like leprechauns or unicorns or Rumplestiltskin. So when some guy from Iran calls my country a bunch of Nazis, I get a little confused. Wait, do you mean that we're a bunch of little green men with pots of gold, that we're beautiful horses with magical powers, or that we're little men with strange names? Ah! Must be the last one. Most Avi's aren't very tall.
Jeez, man from Iran, tell me something I DON'T know!
milchama
Well, I'm not really sure what to say..... anyone who is reading this is probably well aware that, to put it mildly, shit is going on in the Gaza Strip.
To answer some questions that I've been getting from family members and friends today:
1) Are you more scared to go to Israel now? Yes.*
2) Are you still going to go to Israel? Yes.
*Perhaps "scared" is incorrect. I would say "more concerned than before."
Anyway, I don't have much else to say. In the meantime, send some good thoughts Israel's way.
http://www.shefanetwork.org/GateWays/Prayer%20for%20the%20State%20of%20Israel.JPG
(can't get pretty link-age to work, so just copy/paste)
To answer some questions that I've been getting from family members and friends today:
1) Are you more scared to go to Israel now? Yes.*
2) Are you still going to go to Israel? Yes.
*Perhaps "scared" is incorrect. I would say "more concerned than before."
Anyway, I don't have much else to say. In the meantime, send some good thoughts Israel's way.
http://www.shefanetwork.org/GateWays/Prayer%20for%20the%20State%20of%20Israel.JPG
(can't get pretty link-age to work, so just copy/paste)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Jew goes to church
Tonight I went to church for the first time in my life-okay, clarification: I have walked into churches all over Europe (and even a church in Haifa!) and I have been to one Catholic wedding in my life. But an actual service? No.
So tonight I went with my friend from high school who is also not Christian, but who regularly goes to Catholic church. I felt like I kind of had to go since in a little less than a month I'll be a citizen of a Jewish country. This was my last Christmas as a citizen solely of a Christian country, so I figured I might as well see what Christmas Midnight Mass is all about before I leave.
Maybe other Jews reading this will disagree, but as a Jew in America I always felt like the Christians of the US probably look at us as kind of strange people. Our services are probably weird to them. Of course, to me, Jewish services are normal....but I was convinced that to Christians we must seem like total weirdos. And I was also completely convinced that if I went to a Christian service at any time, I would immediately say to myself, "Ohhhhh, NOW I understand why they think we're weird--because they're so normal!"
But tonight--Oh. My. G-d. IT WAS SO WEIRD! There was this procession of these men in white robes, and the cardinal or the bishop or the somebody of LA walked in wearing a pope hat (and underneath it he was wearing a yarmulke-looking thing) and carrying this curvy staff.....there seemed to be a great deal of candle-shuffling during the readings from the scriptures.... at some point there was an actual offering left at the altar, with incense and all....at one point we all had to turn to our neighbor and like hug or shake hands....THEY PASSED BASKETS DOWN THE PEWS FOR MONEY!!!!!!!..I....I....I was so confused!
Having only been to Jewish services in my life, I was so convinced that there was this whole "normal" bit of the world that I was missing out on....but it turns out that that "normal" bit of the world is SO STRANGE! I mean, to me at least.
I'm not being critical of it as a religion--I think all religions are weird, including my own. I'm just saying that I feel like such an idiot for treating Christianity/Catholicism as the standard-bearer for normality in a religion....and after 20 years I finally figure out that it's just as bizarre as any other religion.
During a couple parts of the service, the cardinal or bishop or priest or whatever (hahaha, for all I know it was the pope himself! had the entire congregation pray for people who don't believe in Jesus. I had heard a little while back that the pope decided to put those prayers back in, and it pissed me off a bit, but eventually I didn't really give a shit. But OH how different I felt about it tonight!
Now, mind you, tonight I was a Jew sitting in the LARGEST cathedral in Los Angeles, surrounded by hundreds, maybe a couple thousand, Catholics. And now they were all praying for my soul. I'm not gonna lie, I was seriously uncomfortable. I wanted to shriek at everyone, "I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING PITY PRAYERS!"
But as I told Abraham, if this pope is going to insist on praying for me even though I don't want him to, I'll be sure to put in a good word for him with G-d during Friday night Maariv.
So tonight I went with my friend from high school who is also not Christian, but who regularly goes to Catholic church. I felt like I kind of had to go since in a little less than a month I'll be a citizen of a Jewish country. This was my last Christmas as a citizen solely of a Christian country, so I figured I might as well see what Christmas Midnight Mass is all about before I leave.
Maybe other Jews reading this will disagree, but as a Jew in America I always felt like the Christians of the US probably look at us as kind of strange people. Our services are probably weird to them. Of course, to me, Jewish services are normal....but I was convinced that to Christians we must seem like total weirdos. And I was also completely convinced that if I went to a Christian service at any time, I would immediately say to myself, "Ohhhhh, NOW I understand why they think we're weird--because they're so normal!"
But tonight--Oh. My. G-d. IT WAS SO WEIRD! There was this procession of these men in white robes, and the cardinal or the bishop or the somebody of LA walked in wearing a pope hat (and underneath it he was wearing a yarmulke-looking thing) and carrying this curvy staff.....there seemed to be a great deal of candle-shuffling during the readings from the scriptures.... at some point there was an actual offering left at the altar, with incense and all....at one point we all had to turn to our neighbor and like hug or shake hands....THEY PASSED BASKETS DOWN THE PEWS FOR MONEY!!!!!!!..I....I....I was so confused!
Having only been to Jewish services in my life, I was so convinced that there was this whole "normal" bit of the world that I was missing out on....but it turns out that that "normal" bit of the world is SO STRANGE! I mean, to me at least.
I'm not being critical of it as a religion--I think all religions are weird, including my own. I'm just saying that I feel like such an idiot for treating Christianity/Catholicism as the standard-bearer for normality in a religion....and after 20 years I finally figure out that it's just as bizarre as any other religion.
During a couple parts of the service, the cardinal or bishop or priest or whatever (hahaha, for all I know it was the pope himself! had the entire congregation pray for people who don't believe in Jesus. I had heard a little while back that the pope decided to put those prayers back in, and it pissed me off a bit, but eventually I didn't really give a shit. But OH how different I felt about it tonight!
Now, mind you, tonight I was a Jew sitting in the LARGEST cathedral in Los Angeles, surrounded by hundreds, maybe a couple thousand, Catholics. And now they were all praying for my soul. I'm not gonna lie, I was seriously uncomfortable. I wanted to shriek at everyone, "I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING PITY PRAYERS!"
But as I told Abraham, if this pope is going to insist on praying for me even though I don't want him to, I'll be sure to put in a good word for him with G-d during Friday night Maariv.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
A Summary Of What It's Like To Sit Next To A 10 Year Old At Dinner
(my apologies for the flood of posts).
HERE is what it's like to sit next to a 10 year old (cousin) at dinner, in short:
"Hi!!!!!! So this one time this really funny thing happened when I was with my sisters and these people who you've never met but whose names I'm going to use anyway as if you know them--but before I finish that anecdote, let me first get completely distracted and end up summarizing three movies that I recently saw. Actually, summarizing would be incorrect of me to say, rather I'm going to tell you about three movies in excruciating detail, to the point where you feel like you've actually seen these three terrible movies that you thought were so bad that when they were actually in theaters you decided against paying to see them. After I'm done giving you a shot-by-shot analysis of exactly what the plot is in these films, I'll switch subjects to the boy I have a crush on. I won't actually explain to you that I have a crush on this boy, instead I'll just use his name as if you know him personally, and I'll tell you in great detail about how we pass notes and throw pieces of paper at each other. Then I'm going to switch to a couple seconds of picking at my food in silence.....which I'll then interrupt when I remember that I still haven't finished my original story about my sisters and me and our friends, whose names and distinct personalities you've now completely forgotten thus rendering you completely confused and hopelessly treading water in this sea of information. By this point though, dinner is through, so I promise to finish my story when I see you at Christmas, at which point you'll tell me that you forgot how the story started, so I'll have to start this whole process ALLLLLLL the way from the beginning, making sure that you will never hear the end of the original anecdote."
Hhahaha, I love my cousins.....
HERE is what it's like to sit next to a 10 year old (cousin) at dinner, in short:
"Hi!!!!!! So this one time this really funny thing happened when I was with my sisters and these people who you've never met but whose names I'm going to use anyway as if you know them--but before I finish that anecdote, let me first get completely distracted and end up summarizing three movies that I recently saw. Actually, summarizing would be incorrect of me to say, rather I'm going to tell you about three movies in excruciating detail, to the point where you feel like you've actually seen these three terrible movies that you thought were so bad that when they were actually in theaters you decided against paying to see them. After I'm done giving you a shot-by-shot analysis of exactly what the plot is in these films, I'll switch subjects to the boy I have a crush on. I won't actually explain to you that I have a crush on this boy, instead I'll just use his name as if you know him personally, and I'll tell you in great detail about how we pass notes and throw pieces of paper at each other. Then I'm going to switch to a couple seconds of picking at my food in silence.....which I'll then interrupt when I remember that I still haven't finished my original story about my sisters and me and our friends, whose names and distinct personalities you've now completely forgotten thus rendering you completely confused and hopelessly treading water in this sea of information. By this point though, dinner is through, so I promise to finish my story when I see you at Christmas, at which point you'll tell me that you forgot how the story started, so I'll have to start this whole process ALLLLLLL the way from the beginning, making sure that you will never hear the end of the original anecdote."
Hhahaha, I love my cousins.....
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Well, exciting news! I got a ride to the airport! My parents are going to be out of town when I finally leave LA, so I was going to have to take a taxi....... But my "family" across the street has offered me a ride, which is especially nice when you consider that they are totally anti-Israel (and, by that same token, against Jewish immigration there)
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