The Israeli Pudding Monster!

This morning I was downstairs at breakfast in the hotel. I was eating and reading my Hebrew phrase book, looking for disgusting or amusing vocabulary (my favorite phrase is still “machalat min” though), when I casually glanced up and saw this creepy 40 year old French guy at the table near me just staring at me. I looked back down at my book and tried to eat some more, but I can’t eat when people are staring at me. I don’t think this is just a personal problem of mine; I think most people are the same way. I looked back up and saw that he was still staring at me, so I wiped my face because I thought maybe I had something on it. No, the guy still kept staring. So I blew my nose, because maybe I had snot hanging out. Nope, still staring. So then I glanced down to make sure that I was, in fact, wearing clothing. Yep, I was, and yep, he kept staring.

So 15 minutes passed of this guy just staring and staring. Like, not looking at anything else. And I felt sufficiently embarrassed, so I was ready to go. But not without the last word. So I got up and found some of the ubiquitous Israeli pudding which was being served (By the way, since when is pudding an acceptable part of breakfast? I fucking love this country…), and brought it back to my table. I had selected chocolate, even though I’m not a huge fan of chocolate. I casually took a few normal bites of the pudding, while the guy was still watching. I then took one final huge bite, and then instead of swallowing, I quickly looked up at the guy, stuck my tongue out and made the ugliest face I could possibly manage, complete with chocolate pudding oozing out of my mouth.

The French guy had THE most surprised look on his face. Oh, it was incredible. And while the creepy stare-er was still recovering from the shock of my ugly pudding monster, I marched towards the door and as I passed his table, I muttered to him in French, “Go fuck yourself.”

Anyway, today I am moving to the kibbutz. Woot woot!