Purim Escapades.

FROM YESTERDAY

So during Purim it’s quite common for little kids to run around throwing these little things that make a banging noise. You get used to hearing the noise, and it’s obvious to you that the banging noise you hear is annoying but harmless. It sounds like two fingers snapping very loudly.

Today I wandered around the shuk to see if I could come up with a more interesting Purim costume, and holy fuck was it crowded. I mean, it’s always crowded, but today it was like a sea of people. I ended up wandering into one of the covered areas, and it was even more ridiculously crowded than the open place. And all of the sudden we hear a

BLAM!

Holy fuck. A deafening noise that sounded like a gunshot. A few people screamed, many people ducked, others instinctively grabbed hold of tables or counters, and I would wager that most people—including myself--had minor heart attacks.

For a couple seconds it seemed like the world had frozen, but then we realized it was just a particularly loud firecracker or cap or something, and then some men started yelling, “WHO DID THAT!??!?!?” Everyone was still shaking (mind you, it’s a terribly crowded area, already the victim of several terrorist attacks, a week after a terrorist attack in Jerusalem, and this week Jerusalem is on high alert because of Purim), and now that everyone realized they were not in danger, people were PISSED. Men kept calling out, “WHO DID THAT???!?” I can only hope for their sake that the culprits ran off very quickly, because the atmosphere in the marketplace was that of a lynch mob.

I understand it’s Purim, but what kind of misbehaving little shit sets off a firecracker in the middle of a crowded marketplace in the Middle East? Seriously….

(Note: Later on in the evening, on crowded streets like Ben Yehuda, where there were hundreds of people out for a party and it looked like a mass zombie take-over was occurring, there were pops and bangs and explosions all the time. This was not scary because it was constant since pretty much since the start of the evening. Early in the morning though, lighting a sudden firecracker in the middle of the marketplace when no other loud explosions are going on can be quite startling and it’s hard to remember that it’s Purim when it’s just one loud sudden explosion. Anyway……)


Anyway, my plan for Purim was to just get drunk and then drunk dial different government offices. Actually, this wasn’t much of a plan, more of a prediction.

I ended up going to a party at my absorption center. At the last minute I decided to dress as basically every woman in Jerusalem, so I dressed like an orthodox married woman. Everyone who knows me and knows that I’m quite secular and never caught in skirts thought this was very funny, and couldn’t believe that I even own a skirt. To people who knew me, it was OBVIOUSLY a costume.

What was really amusing though was when we left our building and went out into public. First we went to some Israeli house party, filled with Israelis my age who I’ve never seen before in my life, and then we went to this massive street party filled with even more Israelis I’ve never seen before on my life, and these Israelis were dancing on roofs and trucks. I think what I thoroughly enjoyed about my costume was that strangers we met along the way couldn’t tell whether or not it was in fact a costume, which is my favorite kind of costume. It was actually so much fun to be mistaken for something that I’m not that I’m considering dressing like an orthodox married woman just for the hell of it, just because it was interesting.

One friend of a friend who joined our group said (in Hebrew! YES!) as he pointed at my hair covering, “Are you married?” And I laughed and said, “No, it’s just a costume.” And he chuckled and said, “Oh, so the costume is that you’re married?” And I laughed and said, “No, the costume is that I’m RELIGIOUS and married.” At which point it totally blew this person’s mind that I wasn’t religious, and he almost didn’t believe me. “No way! No way! You’re religious!” Am I really such a convincing orthodox person? Hahaha, oh man, I love the power of a long skirt. And I also love the power of the realistic costume, as opposed to obvious devil ears or fairy wings or whatever that say, “WARNING: I AM NOT ACTUALLLY A DEVIL OR FAIRY.”

We tried to go to this bar in Jerusalem where there was an immigrant party…but I got stopped for being 20. I tried to do the “go on without me!” thing, but they all refused (what nice people I was with!), so we ended up walking for quite some time until we came to a massive street party, which I don’t think an immigrant party could have topped.

I don’t really think words can do justice to this party, so I’ll try to upload a quick video clip. (As of right now, it's ain't happening because the internet is too slow here)