more adventures with m.h.

I dreamt about Misrad Hapnim last night. I had a dream I went in to get citizenship, and it was a snap. I just handed the lady my papers, she handed me an Israeli identity card, and BAM I was a citizen. She also handed me a form with which I could change my name. My actual experience with the Misrad Hapnim (Thursday) will probably not be as smooth.
Towards the end of my dream, the Misrad Hapnim employee ripped a huge fart, and I couldn’t stop laughing in the dream. And then I woke up. And I was still laughing. But then I realized that I still wasn’t a citizen and that I still hadn’t gone to Misrad Hapnim, and suddenly I felt like shit. But I was still laughing about the fact that the employee in my dream shamelessly popped out a massive fart. Oh man though…I’m nervous about this whole thing. I hope it’s not too difficult. I hope they’re just like, “Okay, you have everything you need, here’s your citizenship!”

I also hope that the real-life Misrad Hapnim employee will rip a huge fart.

(Don’t tell The Army I said that, because then they probably won’t trust someone as immature as me with a gun.)

(Also, please don’t tell Misrad Hapnim or the army that I’m listening to Christian rock music right now, because then they’re not going to believe that I’m Jewish…)

Edit: my friend just got back. he already has a teudat oleh, but they decided he "wasn't jewish enough" for a teudat zehut. this is despite the fact that he has his parents' ORTHODOX ketuba..... fuck, im fucked, im not jewish enough.