When I'm 20, I'm gonna speak fluently.

Well, it’s my last day of being 19. I guess I need to reflect:

This year I saw Israel for the first time.
This year I moved to Israel.
This year I threw up from too much alcohol for the first time. (Not as meaningful as the whole Israel thing, but nonetheless an important “first”)
This year I learned Hebrew.
This year I had my first job, besides random lighting design jobs. (Towel folding.)
This year I only learned in school what I wanted to learn.
This year I hit someone.
This year I fought with “Jews for Jesus” in 3 countries and 2 states: France, Israel and the US. California and Illinois.
This year I talked with a Palestinian over coffee about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
This year I got my first traffic ticket.
This year I lost almost all of my clothing in a hotel in Israel.
This year I rediscovered the joy of wearing sandals.
This year I rode a camel and a donkey, but mostly I just rode the bus.

This year I….

I’m trying to think what else I did. I’m sure there was more.



What will being 20 bring?

Fluency in Hebrew? Army service? G-d forbid, a permanent return to the US? An extremely good-looking European man in tight pants?

Who knows!


(I’m hoping for the European man. Really, really, I’m pulling for that one.)




Today I got a little birthday love in class. It was really cool, cos I 100 percent wasn’t expecting anything. Every Friday that we have class, we do a little mini Shabbat thing….so we did the whole candles, challah, wine etc thing, and then in addition I was given a shit-ton of chocolate and got hugs and etc etc. Which was nice.


Exciting news unrelated to my birthday: on Monday I have to go to Tel Aviv again cos the army program I’m doing is having a gathering and they’re gonna tell us what’s next. WOOOOOOT.

Also exciting? Maybe I mentioned this yesterday, but I’ve been paired with a Yemenite Jewish family who lives down the road. They have a few small daughters, and I’m gonna teach them English and play with them a couple times a week and in return they’re gonna act like my family!!! Hhahaha, life is grand!

So I’m listening to the country CD’s I got for my bday, and it’s making me think of all the songs in Hebrew we have to listen to in class that we have to take as dictation. Jesus Christ, I would feel so sorry for anyone that had to take a country song as dictation…
What do I mean? Well, here’s what I’d put if I were a foreigner taking a Tim McGraw song as dictation:
Ah laaaaaak iyt, ah luuuuuuuv iyt, ah won suh mooooo ugh iyt.”
(“I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.”)

Here’s something from George Straight:
“Heynt go na lit no men go down with outay faht.”
(Ain’t gonna let no man go down with out a fight.”)

Something from Toby Keith:
“Hhhhaaaaaal wee klong sheza real noooo bahdy buda jus pikterup n it’s pehchik Frr-ahdeh.”
(“All week long she’s a real nobody but I just picked her up and it’s paycheck Friday….”)

Another reason that I’ll thank G-d every single day that I never had to learn English.

Speaking of which, I had a great moment today where I honestly felt like Hebrew was extremely logical. Everyone’s always saying that Hebrew is such a logical language, but when you’re learning it you don’t always feel it because you’re too busy being frustrated with how retarded you sound. I mean, it’s hard to gush about how cool the whole shoresh system is when you’re too busy bitching about how Hebrew doesn’t put in vowels in writing.
I think I’m getting to that point where I can actually be quasi-functional. I’m still basically illiterate and I still speak like a small child, but……I’m really excited. At the beginning of the ulpan, I would start to tell stories in Hebrew, but I’d give up really quickly because it was too difficult, but I mean, yesterday I actually got in a fight with someone in Hebrew. I mean, I didn’t even think that I had the vocabulary or speaking speed for that! Today I was blabbering away with people who were asking about how my appointment with the Misrad Hapnim went. In Hebrew! LIFE IS GRAND!