Okay, so I'm not 100 percent Irish, but I think 50 percent is good enough

Funniest thign just happened: waiting for the bus at the bus stop, I find myself next to a group of 5 American and Canadian guys. Christians. Here to learn Biblical Hebrew. All just a couple years older than me.

The guys for some reason start talking about Irish people. And they got into an argument which ended with them all concluding that there are no Jews of Irish descent.
They started talking about how crap and racist and whatnot Israel is.
They started bitching bitchign bitchign bitching.
They started talking about how bizarre Jews are, and how bizarre Israel is, and how Jews are this, and Jews are that. Israel is racist this, Jews are weird that, blahblahblah, I want to marry a good CHRISTIAN woman because they're the only good women int he world.
They came back to the subject of the non-existence of Irish Jews, and they started laughing and making suggestions of what such a person would look like.
Then they started talking again about how weird Jews are.

I sat in silence. I briefly called my roommate, but spoke only in Hebrew so as not to give away that I was American and fluent in English.


We were waiting forever and my neighbor, the soldier who likes MIKA, saw me waiting and offered me a ride.

One of the Americans: "Oh, I think that guy's offering her a ride to Jerusalem."
The Canadian: "Oh, well let's see if we can come too!"
American: "No, he's probably only offering it to his girlfriend."
The Canadian: "Well, let's be nice to the girlfriend, maybe she'll let us come, too!"
American: "Should I go flirt with her?"
The Canadian: "No, she probably doesn't understand English."



Finally after we had waited for a ridiculously long time, the Christians called over to me, asking in deliberate and slow (and LOUD) English, "IS . THE . BUS . NOR-MA-LLY . THIS. LATE?"

I considered answering back in my regular accent, but I wanted them to know that they had fucked with the wrong person, that they had fucked with an American. So I put on a slight Southern Accent, cos there's not a chance in Hell a foreigner would talk like that, and I called back, "No, it doesn't normally come this late."

The Christians were absolutely appalled. Their jaws dropped. They tried to make peace talk. They asked if I was Jewish and if I had moved here. Then the Americans asked, "So why did you choose to make aliyah?"

So I stood up and said, "I made aliyah because as YOU people said, you people from my own native country said, I'm weird for being Jewish. And by the way, that guy's not my boyfriend, Oh, and by the way: I'm a Jew of Irish descent. THIS is what we look like."

And I walked off.