Oh fuck I'm awkward.

First of all, I think I've made it abundantly clear on this blog that I'm an introvert. Social situations involving more than three people besides myself are not my cup of tea. And social situations that involve actually interacting with strangers instead of observing them with interest from a distance are pure hell for me.

So tonight it was someone's birthday, so like 50 of us went to this bar in Jerusalem. Oh man. I seriously don't have words for how awkward I am--and I have words for everything. And if there's not a word for something, then I make one up.

Sometimes I don't feel weird because I'm an American in Israel, or a Jew in America, or whatever....sometimes I just feel foreign because apparently I come from the Planet Sam. Every single day of my life I become more convinced that I am foreign to this world, and that my brain (for the worse!) does not function in the same way as everyone else's, and that how I feel about things is strange in comparison to how everyone else on Planet Earth feels.

I have yet to meet someone else from the Planet Sam. Someone whose idea of a good time is NOT standing around in a dark bar, music blasting, surrounded by strangers and everyone trying to catch everyone else's eye......but whose idea of a good time is something like going for a leisurely walk or a drive with one or two people as they chat about their childhood or rant about something or laugh about something. And if we MUST go to a bar, it'll only be to watch soccer and to yell at the players on TV.

I wish that were the only symptom of being from the Planet Sam, but I'm sorry to say that it gets worse. I think I need a lobotomy or something, or shock therapy or something to stop being such a weirdo.

So, dear readers, if you happen to know someone who also comes from the Planet Sam and who happens to live in the state of Israel, please inform me!