Spanglish

I'm really afraid I'm going to show up at the airport tomorrow and they're gonna be like, "Sorry, we don't have a reservation under your name. Or "Sorry, Israel actually decided it doesn't want any more olim." Or "whatever.

I'm about 99% done packing (and I made sure to pack underwear!)


For the past week I've been shopping up a storm. Basically my parents said they will pay for anything and everything I want (within reason....but it's not like I have expensive taste anyway) as long as I'm in the United States, but the second I get on the plane for Israel I'm on my own financially. Basically they were trying to seduce me into staying in the U.S. using financial stability and the promise of "luxury" items as a bribe. (I put "luxury" in quotes because I don't exactly have the classiest taste--I much prefer Target to Bloomingdales). Instead what happened was that I stocked up like some kind of rodent preparing for winter. I'm so tempted to just stuff every pair of shoe I own into my suitcases, because I'm afraid that when the time comes in Israel for me to replace my shoes I won't have any money. So I need extras. Oh shit son, you don't even understand how scared I am--I'm stocked up on medicines, on underwear (concern over underwear seems to be a common theme for the past few days), and whatever else. Basically I'm trying to fit everything I own into the suitcases, no matter how ugly or old or whatever. Some weird things I've packed? An American flag, because I was concerned that if I ever needed one in Israel I wouldn't be able to afford it or even find one. A prayer book which I've opened maybe once, which I'm bringing because I'm afraid of the inavailability of religious texts with vowels and English translations (which I enjoy reading) in the extremely unlikely event that I decide I want to pray.
Oh man am I getting worked up over all of this.

Also, when I was at the mall today I bumped into my childhood housekeeper. The word "housekeeper" doesn't do her justice, cos basically she was my mother until I was 14. I hadn't seen her in ages, so it was really nice. I told her I was going to Israel tomorrow, and she freaked out and started scolding me in Spanish, and then she asked me why. I said, "Cos it seems like fun." Her response? "No. Magic Mountain is fun. Blowing up every day is not fun. Go to Magic Mountain. I'll take you to Magic Mountain right now, you want to go?" Hahahaha.....oh man......

When I went in to buy shoes, the guy working there was clearly an immigrant from a Spanish-speaking country, and was having quite a bit of trouble understanding things people were saying to him. I tried to be very patient because I imagine this is how I'm going to be starting tomorrow, but this middle-aged West LA lady was having none of this. She was trying to figure out where the other worker in the store was, but the first worker was having a little bit of trouble understanding what she was asking. So the lady says very loudly in what she thinks is Spanish:

"Dundee ist el other man????"

Which, if you ask me, confused the poor man even more. Oh gosh....this is what's going to happen to me. People are going to yell at me in what they think is English but which is actually bizarre Hebrew