I FOUND AVI

I FOUND AVI! And he was trying to pick me up in a bar in Tel Aviv!

For Yom HaAtzmaut, I went to Tel Aviv with one of the Germans (the one who got Israeli citizenship last week), another American (who got Israeli citizenship last week as well), and my roommate from Chile. Where did we go to celebrate the birth of the one and only Jewish state?

A British Pub.

How ironic is that?

Beforehand, I was walking around with the other American while the German had dinner with his uncle and the Chilean met up with an old friend. The other American kept talking about how Tel Aviv wasn't as cool as New York or Baltimore (of all places!). Whenever we passed a homeless guy, he would fart on him. It was so horrible! He was also so rude and demanding of waitresses and other people, it just sickened me.

We walked along the beach and some Jews for Jesus group was out in full force. One of the ladies whipped out a flyer, and so I whipped out this phrase in Hebrew, "Sorry, I prefer Judaism without Jesus. Thanks." Oh boy, did I get a nasty look!

Anyway, so we eventually all met up in the British pub and stayed there for five hours. I went to the bar to grab another drink, and this weird guy started chatting me up and demanded my number and blahblahblahblah.....I felt really awkward because this sort of thing usually doesn't happen to me and I also really just don't like it when strangers talk to me. Anyway, as it turns out.....I FOUND AVI! This weird guy's name is Avi! I fucking found Avi, the one that all the hairy men in their 20's are looking for! (Mentioned in earlier posts....) I refused to give out my number, but the famous Avi handed me his. So now I have Avi's number. And if I hear any more of those fucking hairy men in their 20's looking for Avi, I'll just be like, "Here is his fucking phone number, give him a call, ask him where the fuck he is, and then just shut up!"


Perhaps the best part about being in Tel Aviv (besides the fact that it was simply a place other than this fucking kibbutz that I am now back on) is that I got to see the naval/air force display. It was seriously the most kickass thing I've ever seen. The beach was absolutely packed with thousands of people on the sand, thousands of people on the street next to the beach, and thousands of people crammed onto hotel balconies overlooking the sea. There were fighter jets and bigass boats and PARATROOPERS! (Edit: I just looked at the news, and it turns out 10 people got injured when a paratrooper landed on them......but since I didn't know that, I think I'm still entitled to enjoy what I saw.) Holy shit, it was the coolest thing I've ever seen! And it was such a great reminder that I'm actually quite proud of this country (as a foreigner am I allowed to be proud of this country? Fuck it, I'm a Jew, this is my country even if I'm foreign.....), and that it's just the KIBBUTZ that is total shit. Don't make fun of me for thinking that a military display can make me love a country again. All I'm saying is that it was exciting and I loved being part of the huge crowd that was proud of its military and country. Whatever.....

I had one bad moment this weekend when I accidentally snapped at my Chilean roommate (as opposed to my Australian roommate, with whom I do not have a language barrier). I don't know exactly how to describe my personality, but I will say that I definitely enjoy some alone time. Even when I'm with other people, I like to have time to myself to just think and observe. I DO NOT like to have to constantly explain things. This is the problem with my Chilean roommate. She understands almost no English, and started Hebrew lessons last week. We have no common language besides a few words in Spanish, English and Hebrew. Because I know more Hebrew and because I understand the world's international language (English.....), she relies on me to explain to her just what the fuck is going on, in terms of buses, daily plans, and basically everything. This is extremely difficult because 1) we have little common vocabulary and 2) I don't always know what is going on. Any basic transfer of information is an ordeal. The Aussie and I wanted to know if the Chilean wanted a shower in the morning, so that we could plan our schedules, so we ask slowly first in English, "Tomorrow do you want to take a shower?" And she responds, "Mah?" So we repeat in simpler English, "Tomorrow you want a shower?" And she has a puzzled look on her face and says, "Mah?" Then, thinking it might help, she says, "Eeeeeh.......medaberet ivrit." So we ask in Hebrew, "Do you want to take a shower?" And she doesn't understand the word "shower" in Hebrew. She says, "Mah 'miklahat?' " So we take her over to the shower and point at it and repeat, "Miklahat." And she gives us a confused expression and shrugs her shoulders and says, "Okay!" And it seems that she's wondering, "Okay, what ABOUT the shower???" So we just give up.


Please don't think that I'm picking on her for not speaking MY language. It's just as difficult when she wants to ask US a question.

Anyway, so yesterday we got to Tel Aviv, and it was a different station than I had been in last time, so I was a little bit confused and turned around. And my roomie starts demanding, "AYFO ANACHNU????" Over and over again. AYFO ANACHNU?!?!?! (Where are we?) And I kept saying, "Ani lo yodaat, ani lo yodaat..." (I don't know....) And she just kept bothering me by demanding to know where we are. And finally in the middle of the station I turned to her and said VERY sharply, though didn't yell, in English, "I. DON'T. KNOW!"

Oh man....I felt so bad afterwards.

Anyway, that was my adventure in Tel Aviv.