Oh yes, that's right. Costa Rica was accepted into The Union in 1867.

Today the Women of the Wash were looking for the name of a U.S. state.

Charades Bitch said, "So and so and So and so are going to a U.S. state this summer to go touring. I forgot the name of the state. I know it made me think of Corsica...."

So, being the Token American, I tried to help. "Colorado?" I ventured.

"No no no," she said. She then demanded the name of another state that sounded like Corsica. Started with a K noise, she said.

"Well, tell me more about where they're going, maybe that will help," I said.

"Okay, it's a state. It's in the middle of the United States. (I wan't you to note that she CLEARLY said the United States, and not "America." okay?)"

"Hmmm...a C state in the middle of the country....?" And I started to panic, because I couldn't think of one besides Colorado. And I thought, "Oh my goodness, is my knowledge of American geography this bad?"


At this point all the women in the room started to laugh at me because they thought I didn't know my own country. I got desperate. "Okay, tell me more about what you know about the state, maybe that will help."

So Charades Bitch said, "Okay, it's a state in the middle of the UNITED STATES, and it starts with a K noise, and you can go there and you can see wild animals everywhere. You can go and it's a jungle and you can see all the animals in the jungle."

This appalled me. I wasted 2 years of my life in the middle of the fucking United States and some neighboring state whose existence I was oblivious to had a jungle all along????

All the women started mocking my knowledge of my own country, and I just wanted to go die in a corner somewhere. In my head I kept singing a song I knew with all 50 states' names....but I still couldn't think of what the hell this woman was talking about.

Finally the women got tired of mocking me and Charades Bitch called her friends that were going on the vacation to this mystery state. She called, asked, then put down the phone. "Costa Rica!" she spat at me with all the haughtiness she could muster. And all the women laughed at me.

"What???" I said. "Costa Rica???"

"Yes, Costa Rica, why did you not think of it??? Do you not learn about your country in American schools? Why didn't you tell me Costa Rica???" And all the women started cackling in my face.

Finally I got a hold of myself and yelled back,

"MAYBE BECAUSE COSTA RICA ISN'T A FUCKING AMERICAN STATE!" ("Fucking" was in English....)

I mean, is it even on the same continent??? It's in Central America. The U.S. is in North America.

The Women of the Wash continued to laugh saying how stupid I was, saying that when they said it was a state in the middle of The United States, I still should have been able to tell them "Costa Rica."

I mean, Jesus, when someone says to me, "I'm looking for the name of a state in the middle of the United States", I think Christians, apple pie and--above everything else--I think of a fucking AMERICAN state! I don't think fucking jungles and Costa Rica!