Ain't Nothing Like....A Birthday.

Last night I rang in my 20th birthday by getting drunk with a bunch of people who spoke no English. Actually, one of them spoke English, but his native language is German so he says bizarre things like, “I know X like my pocket,” which he explained to me (after I told him I had no idea what the fuck he meant by that) means the same thing as “I know it like the back of my hand.” I drank with a Chilean, an Argentinean, two Hungarians, and a German. And I think that’s pretty awesome. We spoke in pidgin Hebrew, and harder words were either expressed in the speaker’s native language accompanied by Charades-like movements or they were not said at all. At midnight my roommate went into the other room and came back in with a cake with 21 candles on it, which was a really nice surprise. The German was scandalized because apparently in Germany you don’t put on the extra candle, so he was like, “BUT SHE’S 20 NOT 21!!!!”

I then had “Happy Birthday” sung to me in Hungarian and Hebrew simultaneously, and then sung to me in Spanish when the South Americans decided the song needed to be repeated. Which was kind of a surreal experience, if you ask me, after hearing “Happy Birthday” in English only for 19 times.

I don’t think my wish is going to come true, which is a shame, but I think I’m going to have a good year anyway. I’m in Israel!

I’d like to stop the narration for a second and say that I think everyone should do ulpan once in their life. I don't care if your'e a sabra, I don't care that you're already fluent in Hebrew. That's not the point. There’s nothing quite like being surrounded by foreign people—there’s no “normal.” I can’t really explain. But it’s cool. I’m picking up on bizarre little traditions or customs from other countries, and I’m learning random words in other languages. Anyway:


We then went outside to go to the pub, but we heard extremely loud dance music. We hear it a couple times a week, but we had never seen the source. From the volume, we figured it was some massive trance party, and we knew it was in one of the bomb shelters.

So we’re like, “Let’s go to the bomb shelter party, it sounds like it’s pretty crazy!” Ready to join in this enormous rave, we raced down the stairs, pulled back the massive door that was protecting the party goers from a bomb blast, and……

It was just a big concrete room with a disco ball in the middle, a couple party lights lamely moving from here to there….and about 6 teenagers from the kibbutz. With fucking LOUD music. A party of that size does not warrant music that loud. I’m sorry.

The party looked almost as pathetic as school dances that take place in the gym, you know, where no matter how you dress it up with lights and decorations and loud music, you can never forget that you’re in this enormous ugly room and you’re dancing on a basketball court. Well, it looked like the 6 teenagers who had come couldn’t forget that they were in a fucking bomb shelter, so they sat in chairs on the side looking like the typical middle school dance attendees as their ability to hear was gradually stolen from them by the pounding music.

All of us are above high school age, so we decided we didn’t need to relive the awkwardness of our middle school days and left in a hurry.

We went to the pub, which was really boring, and then I came back to the room and passed out. Now I’m spending the day listening to my new music, and later I’ll be going into Jerusalem with the Frenchman to meet up with my Aussie roommate. Should be fun.


Also, it’s Shabbat. And it’s country music time. I heard this song for the first time today and I thought it was very sweet. It’s Brad Paisley’s “Ain’t Nothing Like.”


Don't pay attention to the idiotic music video. Just the music.