back to the future. i mean kibbutz.

So on Sunday I’ll walk into the army enlistment place for a final test, and this will be the first time that I’ll be in that building with my parent’s full knowledge. This is an unbelievably comforting thought, because the other times I’ve been in there (or at the place in Tel Aviv where I registered to be eligible to enlist without citizenship) the overwhelming thought in my head was, “Oh my G-d, my parents are going to kill me.” Or, “I have to come up with a cover story when I’m on the phone with my parents and they ask me what I did this week.” Or when, during the oral portion of my Hebrew exam, the soldier examining me asked me about my parents, and about what they thought about my joining a foreign army…and I just wanted to throw up.

As I’ve said before, it’s just an eye exam. My mom is still desperate for me not to be required to join the army, so she keeps telling me to try to get my eyes as bloodshot as possible and wear incorrect glasses so that it looks like I have a serious eye problem and am near-blind….she thinks maybe this will get me out of the army.

Also, I’m gonna retake the Hebrew exam. I’ve already passed out of army ulpan, so it means that as of right now if I joined the army I don’t have to take more Hebrew class, but everyone I’ve talked to says to take the Hebrew exam again if you can because you can get a more interesting assignment if you know more Hebrew. And, well, since I did the Hebrew exam back in July or August or whatever, I would HOPE my Hebrew has improved at least a bit… I don’t know what happens if I do worse though. I should probably investigate that before I ask to take it again.


Okay, so now a question: do Israelis not walk much? Every single time I walk up the hill to go the supermarket, every single taxi that passes by honks and gestures to see if I’d like a ride. Every bus driver that passes (not that many, since it’s a residential neighborhood) looks back at me and gestures to see if the driver should wait for me at the next stop. I really don’t understand why taxi drivers would be so aggressive for business—if I really wanted a taxi, wouldn’t I be flagging it down? I remember during my “Farewell Tour” back in August/September, I was walking along the street in Tiberias and a taxi driver honked at me. Whatever, I thought. He slowed down and kept honking. Then, upset that I wasn’t getting into the cab, he pulled into a driveway in front of me that blocked my path, and asked me if I wanted a ride. That’s determination….


Also, at some point within the next couple weeks I will be making my glorious return to The Kibbutz. Apparently some bills/bank statements got mailed there, so now I have to call the ulpan office there and arrange to pick them up. Oh G-d. Be strong, self!

Passing by the kibbutz [on the way to Haifa a couple weeks ago] for the first time since I left back in September was bizarre. I surprisingly got sort of a warm, comforting feeling by the sight of something so familiar, but part of me also wanted to yell at the bus driver to stop so that I could get out and curse obscenities at it.

I think it’ll be very weird to be actually walking around on the kibbutz again though. What if the Women of the Wash see me, or (worse yet!) don’t recognize me?! That would be horrible if I had to deal with those bitches for 5 months and then in the end they don’t even remember me. It’ll be weird to see my old room and the rest of the kibbutz in general, because as crap as it was, it was indeed my first home in this country.