Happy Rushushunnuh!

Excited for Rosh Hashana tomorrow night.

I love pronouncing "Rosh Hashana" like
Rushushunnuh.

What is this Rosh Hashana business? It's Rushushunnuh!

Yom Kippur, on the other hand, must ALWAYS be pronounced "Yom Kippur," and I want to kill anyone who calls it "Yum Kipper."


I always have mixed feelings about the holidays. As I told Elana: "I like the holidays cos it means all the jews get to spend some quality time together, but it also means having to sit through some really boring ass shit." So I guess that pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject. I know it's a free country, I know I don't HAVE to go to services, but....I don't know, I'm such a shitty Jew that I feel like I should at least try to do things right for two days out of the year.

Oh well, this week won't be so bad. At least on Rosh Hashanah we can eat.


I used to love going to services with my family, because I would usually sit next to one of my brothers--the one who still considers himself Jewish. Whenever they blew the shofar, we used to laugh uncontrollably. We had this personal joke when we were little that "Tekiah" was actually the song "Tequila." So we'd be sitting together at services, one of the two days of the year that we actually went to services, and when it came time for the shofar blasts.... Someone would call out "Tekiah!" or whatever, and my brother and I would start humming the song "Tequila" under our breaths.
And whenever we heard the song "Tequila" on the radio, my brother and I would shout "TEKIAH" instead of "TEQUILA!" and start pretending to blow shofars.
Oh man...I miss going to services with my brother. It sucks having to go to services at school. Sorta.

I think I've always had a problem with laughing during inappropriate moments during religious services (or during the grace after meals when Abraham decides to belt a certain verse). Once someone farted during Purim services and I completely lost it. In that instance I guess it was okay to laugh about farts in synagogue though, cos it was Purim. But usually when I'm laughing during services it's because a word sounded funny ("vdibarta bam" has done me in, without fail, at every single service I've ever been to), or because someone made a weird face, or because I got in my own little world of thought and thought of something really random. Sometimes I laugh because someone is dressed ridiculously, sometimes I laugh because the congregation can't figure out how to stay together during the prayer and so all the words are jumbled, and sometimes I laugh because some girl across the aisle is singing "Lecha Dodi" like she THINKS she's Mariah Friggin Carey or something. In my synagogue at home, I'm constantly giggling to myself because our cantor sounds like a woman when he sings. And sometimes I laugh because I have just stepped back for a second and realized that I'm in a room full of people who are singing in some bizarre language that none of us understands, and for all we know we're saying, "Please fuck me up the ass, Satan."

I'm beginning to think that maybe I shouldn't go to services at all since I'm just so inappropriate and offensive.


Whatever. A very happy new year to all who are reading this!

And now for a traditional Rosh Hashana song from my family to yours:


TEKIAH!