home.

I'm back in the US! What??!?!?! Pretty weird. Until this point, the longest I had ever been out of the US was 2 1/2 weeks. I think the longest I had ever been away from LA without coming back to visit was 2 1/2 months. And, holy fuck, I just went from April 22nd until September 8th without seeing either LA or the US.

When the plane landed in NY, I decided that I had to do something incredibly American upon arrival. So, of course, I looked for a Twinky in one of the snack shops. But they didn't sell Twinkies! What?! I was scandalized. So instead I bought an Oprah magazine and I felt a little bit more assimilated.

It was kind of weird for NY to be the first piece of the US that I experienced when I came back, seeing as I hate New York. I could talk about how and why and how much I hate New York, but that would take a few hours.


When we were about to land in LA, I caught a glimpse of the light towers. They are these giant poles and they light up. I can't even tell you how many times I've fought with my parents about them. I love them because I love lights, but my parents hate them because 1) they cost the city of LA millions of dollars, 2) they're kind of weird looking, and 3) they were built during a year when California didn't have enough energy, we had rolling blackouts, and so most of the time the poles just stood there with no light since there was no electricity to spare. And literally every single time we are near the airport, my parents argue about these poles. So when I saw the poles from the plane, I couldn't stop laughing remembering this.


Today I stopped by my mom's office to go to lunch with her, and everyone in the office was basically jumping on me. I've been going into that office since I was a baby, so everyone knows me. So while everyone was pinching my cheeks and bursting with questions and hugging me and whatever, the receptionist (who is this kind of older, creepy lady) came up to me and was like, "Israeli men are really hot, huh?" So I just blushed and was like, "Um.....I guess....." And then some other lady got all defensive and was like, "WHAT ABOUT AMERICAN BOYS?!?!?!" So then I got all panicked and flustered and turned even more red, and responded, "Um...of course, of course...." It was really awkward cos these people are all older women, and my mother is like RIGHT there. And then the receptionist was like, "No, but Israeli men are supposed to be VERY hot I hear, so is that true?" And then another woman cut her off and was like, "So! Tell me! Did you get an Israeli guy?!"

Which, of course, catches my mother's attention and so she leans in to hear my response. I want to scream, "Will you creepy old ladies all just fuck off for like two seconds??!?!?! Jesus Christ!" But instead I just settled on biting my nails and muttering, "No." More questions about my non-existant love life followed, and I'm left wondering: do old women have nothing better to do in their lives besides pester gross 20 year old girls about their love lives? Really? Does being an old woman really suck that much?



Just checked the answering machine, and on it was a message from my godfather, making fun of my dad as usual and asking about how I was doing. Oh my goodness, I couldn't stop laughing. I had forgotten how strong his southern accent is. Awwwww, i missed being at home and things like this