Jesus Freaks out in the streets

First day of class today. Haven't had a class yet, but instead did placement.

I got out of my Hebrew placement test and was accosted by no less than five different people handing me pamphlets about Jesus. At first I thought it was an advertisement for something interesting, but I opened it up and POOF there's a Bible verse. New Testament. So I handed the lady back her pamphlet and said, "Take this."

I went to lunch and then on the way to the library I had more pamphlets about how great this Jesus guy is thrust into my face. Frankly, I think Jesus would be really embarrassed if he knew that his jackass followers were being so fucking obnoxious.

I have no problem with Christians. I really don't. My dad is Christian, 75 percent of my cousins are Christian, and most of my friends are Christian. The problem I have is with people handing me pamphlets that suggest that my religious beliefs aren't good enough, that my religious beliefs are wrong. I honestly do not give a shit what people believe, as long as their beliefs don't drive them to murder me or to hand me pamphlets. Apart from that, you can believe in animal spirits or magic or Greek mythology or whatever and I seriously could not give a fuck, as long as I don't have to hear about it.

Finally, I said to one of them, "No, I do not want your stupid pamphlet!!! You know, I really resent your trying to convert me at my own school! I don't come into your house and shove my dumbass pamphlets in YOUR face, so leave me alone on MY campus!"

As I started to walk off, the lady just smiled and said to me something that the Jesus Freaks always say. They want you to think that they pity you, when really they're smirking with delight cos they think you're going to hell and there's going to be more room in Jesus' lap or whatever in Heaven. "Even though you won't open up your eyes/heart/{whatever part of the body she said....maybe it was 'anus?'] to the Lord, I pray and hope that the Lord will bless you."

And that just pissed me off. As if G-d's gonna curse me just cos I don't believe Jesus was his kid. So I just whipped around with as much 'tude as I could muster, like I was a big fat woman from the ghetto that someone just slapped in the face.. And I snapped back,

"Lady, the Lord already HAS blessed me: I'm Jewish!"