Rosh Hashana Eve

The past couple weeks I've been thinking a lot about what denomination or whatever of Judaism I consider myself. I'm still not sure. And it's kind of bothering me.

What HAVE I figured out?
1) A person should not have more children than days of the week.
2) Oh G-d, oh G-d, DO NOT homeschool your children!

(This is a result of watching a shit ton of "Wife Swap" and "Jon and Kate Plus 8" and all those shows about the Duggars....)



Services weren't so boring. I forgot how much I really like the cantor they bring in for the high holidays. We'll see how great I think his voice is after I have to listen to it all day tomorrow and all day again next week.

Also, forgot to mention what I found to laugh about at today's services (besides "vdibarta bam").
1) The guest rabbi has the most bizarre voice when reading prayers "silently" to himself.
2) I sneezed into my hands. Big mistake. I missed and got some on my cashmere sleeves. Which was so disgusting yet so hilarious to me that I was convulsing with silent laughter.

As I told Abraham today at lunch, I'm going to start my own denomination of judaism. I just have to figure out what kind.

Maybe something like "Educational, Zionist, Non-Secular Judaism." We would support the values of every Jewish person having an incredible amount of Jewish knowledge, and we would be Zionist, but we wouldn't be secular. What "non-secular" means to individuals can be interpreted individually. Kids brought up in this denomination would speak fluent Hebrew, would be able to feel at home in an Orthodox synagogue or in any Orthodox school, but they wouldn't necessarily practice Orthodox Judaism. See, for the Jewish knowledge, everything would be learned from the traditional or Orthodox perspective, and that would be taught as the "correct" perspective, though whether or not a person actually chose to practice as an Orthodox Jew would be seen as optional. Belief in G-d would NOT be optional though. That point would be non-negotiable. (Well, obviously you can't FORCE people to believe or not believe something. What I mean is that belief in G-d would be seen as one of the core values of my denomination. My point is that it's not like Humanist or whatever Judaism)


Is there a denomination of Judaism that is already like this? I feel like it resembles what little I know about Reconstructionist Judaism.....but that branch has never really appealed to me. Sigh....I guess I have to look into this.

Or maybe I'd start "Orthodox Judaism minus the really boring-ass and long prayer services, plus the fact that you can break Shabbat to watch soccer on TV."

hahaha, anyone wanna join my synagogue?