Yente is a professor at my university apparently.

"I dont know what it is about language teachers, they always feel like they have to rename you. I used to get your Latin report cards and I would say, 'Who the hell is Aemilia?' " --My mom



Just got out of my first Yiddish class. Was horribly embarrassing. So we're going around the room saying in Yiddish, "My name in Yiddish is _____." And in the blank people were supposed to supply their Hebrew/Jewish name. It is important to note at this point that everyone in my Yiddish class looks/talks/acts like the most stereotypical jew that you can possibly imagine. So EVERYONE has a Yiddish name. And I'm just turning bright red because I just want to answer the fucking question, I just want to say in Yiddish, "My name in Yiddish is ______." and then let the next person speak. I don't want that awkward pause and then have to blurt out in English, "How do I say that I don't have a Jewish name?"

Well, I ended up having to say that. And instead of just telling me and moving on, class was briefly stopped while people tried to think of a Yiddish name for me, all of which sounded gross. Eventually, after what seemed like fifteen years of embarrassment, class moved on.



Later on in the class, the teacher asked if everyone could read Hebrew and maybe even knew a couple words. The entire class raised their hands. And I raised my hand too because, surprise surprise, after going to Hebrew school, then studying Hebrew for two quarters in college, and then spending nearly five months in Israel......I too know how to read Hebrew and might even know "a couple of words."

And the teacher singles me out. In front of everyone, out of everyone, she singles ME out. She says, "You do?" She gives me a look that suggests, "Oh sweetie, are you confused?"
And I'm like, "Yes, I do." And, apparently believing that I misunderstood the question, she probes further, "You can read Hebrew?"

At which point I just wanted to seriously bitch slap this Jew, and be like, "You know, you asked me in English, not Yiddish, I understood the fucking question. You asked if I know a bit of Hebrew, which I do, thus I raised my hand. What is so difficult for you to understand about this?"

But I was just so fucking embarrassed that I just muttered, "Yes, I can...."


I don't think I'm going to like this class. This woman reminds me of Yente in Fiddler on the Roof, and like will go off on these ridiculous tangents or stories that are completely irrelevant. And I just want to learn some goddamn yiddish!




P.S. I placed into the Hebrew class for this fall. I'll be in class with the same people I started with. So I guess that's cool....