מכתבים...

My dear fellow women,

Please don't treat itty-bitty undearwear-length shorts as outergarments. They are not. They are not an acceptable replacement for pants, I don't care how hot it is (though right now it's freezing out....weird....). Also not an acceptable replacement for pants? Leggings. I seriously do not need to be able to see every contour in your ass. Leggings are supposed to supplement something that is already covering you, like a skirt or dress. Not just a big t-shirt. Maybe you think you're pulling off some bizarre retro style, a throwback to some of fashions greater hits. When was that style popular? The middle ages. Well, this isn't the middle fucking ages, and even if it were, it'd be the men in the leggings. Not you. So put on some goddamn pants.

Your prudish fellow woman,
Sam.



Dear Annoying Bitch,

Please stop talking to me in that condescending tone. Fine, maybe if you wanna use it when we talk about gossip or sports (besides soccer) or science or anything that you know better than me, MAYBE I'll get over it if you use it then. But don't patronizingly tell me about "how things are in Israel" and "how Israelis live" in that condescending voice when you 1) don't keep up with the news in Israel and 2) have never even BEEN to the fucking country. I know I'm not an expert, I know I'm no Israeli myself, but just shut your fucking face.

Thanking you in advance,
Sam.